Giving And Receiving

Giving in its highest sense is a feeling of generosity that comes from a feeling of personal well being. Receiving in its highest sense is a feeling that one deserves anything that is offered.

“Oh I couldn’t possibly accept that,” Jill says to her Aunt Hilda, who has given her what she considers to be an enormous sum of money on her birthday. “It’s too much.”

“Please accept, Jill. I have been meaning to start you on your new financial analyst career, and you will need training.”

After a lot of argumentation Jill agrees to accept the money. Jill feels a sense of obligation now to Hilda that she doesn’t want. “I’ll pay you back,” she says.

Hilda feels bad because she was hoping for a joyful acceptance of her gift.

If you have been on the receiving end of unhappy acceptance as a giver, you know how Hilda feels.

(There’s a difference between accepting a gift, and accepting what amounts to a bribe from someone who is clearly placing you under an obligation to them.)

A person’s reaction to a gift is often more important than the gift itself. We look for that pleased smile, and the hug that may come afterward. These ineffable qualities of consciousness are present in every person on the planet, and in all life forms, and they are the stuff of life itself and make life worth living.

The billionaire who has everything may be miserable. Physical stuff doesn’t create happiness; it’s the reaction to it that we try to bring out when we give something to another.

A wedding ring has such powerful significance because it is the physical representation of love that is intended to last a lifetime. Yeah, the diamond is pretty cool too, but the recipient who is more interested in the hardware is likely to be more in love with the diamond than the giver, and the relationship probably won’t last very long.

I have noticed that persons who truly enjoy receiving are not burdened by feelings of unworthiness. Happy people are usually self-confident and are enjoying life. When you see such a person don’t you feel like acknowledging them, and giving something of yourself in return to them, who make you happy by just being around them?

Of course there is a big difference between the selfish egomaniac who looks upon gifts as their divine right, and a truly grateful recipient. But a selfish person is an insecure person who is more than likely making up for their feelings of unworthiness.

Material objects as gifts may not be an accurate representation of the true feelings of the giver. For example, Uncle Joe sends you a Christmas card and now you feel obligated to reciprocate. You don’t really want to, but you do because it’s polite. To you, sending a card represents an obligation because Joe is not one of your favorite relatives. Interestingly, when viewing things from the perspective of our vibrational model, the card itself will have little effect on your relationship with Joe. The non-local characteristics of vibrational interaction suggest that Joe is not likely to view your gift with enthusiasm if you have sent it with the vibration of “I’m only doing this because I have to.”

Has that ever happened to you? You can almost read the intent of the sender of the card when you open it up and read their inscription.

The physical object is less important than the vibrational orientation of the sender. When Joe opens up your card he picks up on your intent right away. “He might as well not have sent anything,” he grumbles as he places the card on his desk. It’s as if there is an energy signature on the physical object.

This may seem like a strange and even delusional statement, but if you carefully examine your own relationships from the viewpoint of consciousness and energy flows, it may begin to make sense.

Of course the physical object is very important, simply because it’s tangible. But physical objects do not determine the way we feel about ourselves or about others. When Beauregard Clifton Densmore IVth receives a new car for his 16th birthday, he is very upset. “But mumsy,” he complains, “I specifically requested the blue Bentley, not the grey one!” I remember one of my old chums in grade school got a new bike. He thought it was awesome, but his parents were upset because the bike was a gift from his uncle, with whom they’d had an argument. Same object, two entirely different reactions.

If you aren’t feeling very loving, then your giving is probably not going to provide a lot of comfort on the other end. “Here’s your frikkin money,” you say when paying back on a loan your friend gave you. “Yeah sure,” your friend says, vowing never to loan you another cent. I suppose just getting the money back is a miracle these days. But how much better would it be to get the money with a heartfelt thank you?

It’s the same money, but the energy flow associated with the payment makes the recipient feel completely different.

Can the human body feel energy from another person? The eyes can see that a person is angry but the body cannot feel it because the other person is standing ten feet away. But the energy field that surrounds the person – the merkaba – can feel it! This field of subtle energy goes out approximately 25 feet from the body.

The point is – as I always emphasize in these essays – that the higher aspects of the human being – the soul or the spiritual aspects – are what we all have in common. Physical bodies and their gender differ, but the God in you recognizes the God in others, and vice versa. That recognition occurs on a higher plane than the five human senses.

It’s that spontaneous, joyful response that comes from the soul that makes giving and receiving worthwhile.

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